Navigating Self-Comparison on Your Wellness Journey
Ever catch yourself wondering why we compare ourselves so much these days? Understanding self-comparison reveals it's a natural tendency deeply ingrained in human behaviour, especially in today's highly connected society.
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Understanding Self-Comparison
As a life coach, I've seen how widespread self-comparison is. It goes beyond comparing looks or accomplishments, it's about measuring our worth against external standards. Social media, advertising, and societal norms often promote unrealistic ideals, which can make us feel inadequate or like we're not ‘enough’.
Research consistently shows that spending a lot of time on social media can lead to increased feelings of self-comparison and negative self-perception. People often share only their best moments online, which may cause others to feel disheartened when comparing their own lives.
Why Do We Struggle with Self-Comparison?
We face this challenge from multiple angles. Society bombards us with images of supposed perfection, suggesting that our value hinges on our appearance, fitness, or lifestyle. This ongoing comparison can chip away at our self-esteem and confidence, making it harder to fully embrace our individual path toward better health. Personal insecurities and the fear of judgement further magnify our tendency to compare ourselves to others.
When we embark on something new, especially if it's outside our comfort zone like starting a fitness program or adopting a healthier diet, the struggle with self-comparison can become particularly pronounced. It's natural to compare ourselves, but it's important to approach these feelings with self-awareness and balance. Knowing it's okay to compare, but ensuring we do so in a constructive way, can define our growth.
Here are some of the underlying reasons behind this struggle.
Now, let's delve deeper into these challenges together. I've included guiding questions to spark meaningful reflection.
Fear of Failure and Judgment: Stepping into new situations can make us feel afraid of failing or not meeting expectations. We worry about others judging us for how we try or what they might think we lack. This fear can stop us from fully learning and feeling proud of our progress.
Reflective Question: What triggers feelings of self-comparison for you when starting something new?
Comparison to Others' Progress: In health and fitness, we often compare our progress to others who appear to be doing better. Social media and fitness influencers showcasing their achievements can add to this pressure. Comparing ourselves externally can intensify our desire for specific results, making it hard to focus on our personal journey and growth.
Exploratory Question: How does comparing yourself to others impact your motivation to achieve your health goals?
Lack of Self-Confidence: Starting something new requires a leap of faith in our own abilities and potential. If we lack self-confidence or have a history of self-doubt, this can amplify our tendency to compare ourselves unfavourably with others who seem more confident or experienced.
Growth Question: How can being kinder to yourself instead of doubting yourself help you on your journey to better health?
Perfectionism and Unrealistic Expectations: Sometimes, we set very high standards for ourselves and hope to see instant results when starting something new. We might compare our first attempts with others' perfect results, which can make us feel frustrated or not good enough when progress is slow or difficult.
Goal Setting Question: What are some realistic health goals you can set for yourself that focus on personal growth rather than comparison?
Mindset Shifts and Patience: Embracing a new challenge often requires shifting our mindset from a fixed to a growth mindset. It involves recognising that progress takes time and setbacks are part of the learning process. Cultivating patience and self compassion with ourselves allows us to appreciate our unique journey and focus on continuous improvement rather than immediate perfection.
Accountability Question: Who can you turn to for support and encouragement when navigating challenges related to self-comparison?
As a coach, I encourage women to embrace self-compassion and celebrate their courage in stepping outside their comfort zones. By reframing self-comparison as an opportunity for growth rather than a measure of worth, we can empower ourselves to navigate challenges with resilience and authenticity. Ultimately, starting something new is not just about achieving a goal, it's about discovering our strengths, building confidence, and embracing the beauty of our evolving journey towards greater health and wellbeing.
The Importance of Individual Progress
Celebrating our progress can sometimes be challenging. We're often conditioned to focus on what we haven't achieved yet, rather than celebrating how far we've come. It’s important to shift our perspective. Every step forward, whether it's starting a new exercise routine, making healthier food choices, or simply prioritising self-care, deserves recognition. Setting realistic goals and acknowledging our achievements builds resilience against the negative impacts of self-comparison. I love the motto, "Do what you can, when you can, with what you have," as it encourages us to prioritise our personal journey and progress without getting caught up in comparing ourselves to others.
Integrating gratitude into our lives is powerful. By appreciating our progress and accomplishments, we shift from comparison to self-compassion. Practising gratitude helps us recognise our strengths, fostering a positive mindset and reducing the urge to measure ourselves against unrealistic standards.
Using NLP Anchoring for Support
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) anchoring is a powerful technique that can significantly support you in your wellness journey. It works by linking a specific trigger or anchor with a desired emotional or mental state. For example, you can associate a gesture or word with feelings of confidence or calmness. This technique helps you access these positive states whenever you need them, making it easier to navigate self-comparison and other challenges on your path to wellness.
Here's how it works and why it can be beneficial
Let's delve deeper into anchoring. Imagine you're about to start a new exercise routine or make healthier food choices, but you're feeling unsure or nervous and need a confidence boost. Anchoring involves associating a specific physical gesture or action with a desired emotional state. Choosing an anchor is a personal decision, it should feel natural and empowering to you.
Here are some effective anchors for confidence:
Physical Touch: Simple actions like touching your heart, placing your hand on your chest, or clenching your fist can evoke feelings of strength and assurance.
Smiling: Genuine smiling activates positive emotions and enhances self-assurance. Practise smiling confidently to anchor this feeling.
Power Pose: Adopting a strong, expansive posture, standing tall with your shoulders back and head held high, sends signals of confidence to your brain.
Visual Cue: Utilise a visual cue such as wearing a piece of jewellery or clothing that makes you feel empowered whenever you wear it.
Experiment with these anchors to discover which one resonates best with you.
Here’s how it works
Choosing Your Anchor: Select a gesture that feels natural and empowering to you. As mentioned from the examples, it could be anything from touching your heart to squeezing your fist, smiling confidently or a piece of clothing that makes you feel empowered.
Creating the Association: Before you begin your new activity or face a challenging moment, deliberately perform your chosen gesture while focusing on positive feelings of confidence and self-assurance. Imagine times in the past when you've felt strong and capable.
Repetition and Consistency: Repeat this process consistently before similar situations. Over time, your mind will start to associate the gesture with those empowering emotions.
Accessing Empowering Emotions: When you face moments of self-doubt or uncertainty, simply perform your anchor gesture. This action triggers the associated feelings of confidence and self-assurance, helping you to overcome doubts and step outside your comfort zone more easily.
Practical Application: Whether you're starting a new workout routine, making healthier food choices, or tackling any challenge on your wellness journey, anchoring can provide a quick and effective way to access your inner strength and resilience.
By practising anchoring regularly, you can build a strong foundation of confidence and self-assurance, empowering yourself to navigate challenges and achieve your health goals with greater ease and positivity.
Here are some additional areas where you can provide yourself with support
Managing Stress: Anchoring relaxation or calmness involves linking a calming activity, like deep breathing or visualising a peaceful place, with a physical gesture or word. This anchor can be used whenever you feel stressed or anxious, helping you quickly shift to a more relaxed state. It's a powerful method for managing stress related to your wellness journey and maintaining emotional balance.
Boosting Motivation: Motivation can fluctuate, especially when faced with obstacles or setbacks. Anchoring motivation involves associating a specific action or phrase with feelings of determination and drive. By anchoring these positive emotions, you can rekindle your motivation whenever you need to refocus on your health goals. This constant reinforcement strengthens your commitment to long-term wellness.
Enhancing Self-Image: Anchoring a positive self-image and body positivity involves creating mental associations that promote self-acceptance and appreciation. For example, you might anchor feelings of pride and satisfaction after achieving a fitness milestone or practising self-care. This approach helps cultivate a healthy relationship with your body and nurtures a positive mindset towards your overall well-being.
NLP anchoring is a practical and empowering technique that encourages mindfulness and self-awareness. It enables you to consciously shape your thoughts and emotions, facilitating positive changes in your behaviour and mindset.
By incorporating anchoring into your daily routine, you can harness its benefits to navigate challenges, celebrate successes, and foster a supportive environment for your personal growth and wellness journey.
Discovering a supportive community provides invaluable support for women as they navigate their journey towards self-compassion and wellbeing. At Zing Wellbeing, women uplift each other, share experiences, and celebrate personal growth.
By fostering self-compassion and redefining success on our terms, we empower each other to embrace unique paths towards lasting wellness. Together, we flourish in an environment that promotes authenticity and resilience.
Rebecca Collins - Certified Life Coach Specialising in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Matrix Therapies
Beck brings a wealth of experience as a certified Life Coach specialising in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Matrix Therapies.
As a dedicated wellness educator, youth mentor, and nurturing mother, Beck is passionate about empowering women to reclaim their energy, rediscover their true selves, and revitalise their vitality through the transformative power of mindset and mindfulness.
Beck has personally navigated the journey of feeling depleted and overwhelmed while striving to maintain that delicate balance. Through Beck's own experiences and professional expertise, Beck came to realise that genuine wellness begins with honouring our own needs alongside our responsibilities to our families. Beck's mission is to empower women to find this harmonious balance, where self-care becomes a cornerstone of nourishing both ourselves and our loved ones.
And you can join the Zing Wellbeing program here to get access to all we do!
NOTE: The advice shared via our coaches is general advice and is never a replacement for speaking to a health care professional.
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