The Power of Positive Mindset: How this mum changed her negative thinking
How using the "name it to tame it" method helped Tanya change her mindset.
What if the key to unlocking your potential and achieving your deepest desires isn't a new diet, a stricter schedule, or more willpower, but something far more fundamental? Your mindset!
In honour of Mental Health Week Tanya shares how her journey, marked by significant health challenges and the relentless demands of single motherhood, forced her to confront this very question.
Tan shares, "What I discovered was a revolutionary approach to navigating life's inevitable struggles, a method I call "Name it to Tame it, then Flip it."
This isn't just a philosophy; it's a proven path to transforming frustration into fuel and rediscovering the vibrant, capable person you were always meant to be.
Tanya is a life coach with over 20 years experience and is here to share her amazing knowledge.
Tanya shares, "After the birth of my youngest child, and nearly losing my life through numerous hospitalisations and operations, I found myself reflecting deeply on the fragility of life. I had reached rock bottom with my mental health and was diagnosed with PTSD following the traumatic birth.
Turning 40, I was also facing confronting visits with a cardiologist. It was then I realized how close I was to not being there for my children, and that pivotal moment spurred my decision to start showing up for myself and prioritising my well-being.
I embarked on my journey with a specific goal: 61 days of consistent exercise. I was aware that, on average, it takes 66 days to rewire the brain with a new habit, and I believed that this consistency would help embed the routine into my daily life."
Name it to tame it!
Tan says, "I also adopted a concept I call "Name it to Tame it," followed by "Flip it."
I believe that acknowledging one's feelings is incredibly important; it's a way of honouring yourself and your present state. When negative feelings arose, I would vocalise them and then reflect on how I could transform them into a positive outcome for myself.
As a single mother raising four children, I often felt tired. I would articulate this feeling aloud, saying, "Geez, I feel tired today." This then presented an opportunity to ask myself, "Okay, you are tired, now what can you do today to honour and nurture yourself a little bit more?" I would then focus on having a "Mummy moment" for myself—a time where I could consciously shift my feelings.
Remembering how frequently I felt tired, my next step would be to consider, "What do I like? What feels good?" It was in these moments that I might grab some hand cream and simply pause, rubbing the cream over my hands. I would notice its texture, its scent, and how much nicer my hands looked as the cream spread. These quick, effective, small moments helped to replenish the self-love I needed.
As I became familiar to exercising daily, there were days I felt stiff and sore. You know those days after leg day when it hurts just to sit down. I would acknowledge this physical sensation and then "flip it."
I'd ask, "How can I make my legs feel better today? What do they need?" Flipping this often meant focusing on stretching my legs more mindfully than usual or going for a gentle walk to loosen them up. It also involved being okay with these thoughts and feelings, knowing they were temporary, and that there were many other things I could do in the meantime.
"What can I do right now?"
This approach expanded my thinking and perspective on how I cared for myself, allowing me to truly focus on the nurturing I needed. Prior to this journey, I was merely surviving, not genuinely attending to my needs or listening to my inner self. I was constantly giving love and care to everyone else, to the point where I had forgotten who I truly was and what I needed to be happy.
It was a realisation that I needed this dedicated time, this acknowledgment of myself as a person, so I could be the best version of myself, allowing that positive ripple effect to flow onto my children. This was far better than merely getting through each day as a shell of the person I truly could be.
This involved shifting my focus to "What can I do right now?" It meant not dwelling on the past or the future, but rather engaging with the present moment and what I had available.
This mindset shift has been instrumental in overcoming days when I am tired, sore, or when, in the past, I might have skipped exercise by giving too much energy to negative thinking. It has allowed me to make self-care a non-negotiable. Ninety-nine percent of the time, after prioritising this time for myself, I have felt significantly better and experienced an increased positive mindset.
So, on the days when you may be struggling, acknowledge how you are feeling. Then, open your mind to what you can do right now, in this moment, that will feel good. In turn, this will help you transform that experience into a positive one.
What can you do with what you have? Because when you can't be bothered, that's precisely when you need to be bothered for YOU.
Watch Tanya explain her story below
You can find so many helpful resources on the Zing Wellbeing App to support your health and mental wellbeing including, tapping, meditation and breathwork plus lots of great blogs to read.
About Tanya
