R U OK? Day: Rochelle Shares A Simple Question with a Big Impact
Today is R U OK? Day, a reminder of how powerful a simple question can be in someone’s life.
While it’s important to ask this question today, it’s just as important to check in with friends and loved ones every day. Mental health doesn't take a break, and sometimes a caring word can make all the difference. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or even a colleague, asking how they’re really doing can have a huge impact.
Starting the conversation can sometimes feel awkward or overwhelming, but it doesn’t need to be.
And today Rochelle shares her tips on checking in on others after her own person struggles
Here are 5 simple ways you can check in with someone today.
"Hey, R U OK?"
It might seem simple, but “are you ok?” is often the easiest way to open the door to a meaningful conversation.
When you ask, really listen to their response, and let them know you're genuinely interested in how they’re feeling. Sometimes, that’s all someone needs to feel less alone.
"How are things *really* going?"
We’ve all said “I’m fine” even when we weren’t. Asking someone how things are really going encourages them to move past the surface and share what's on their mind. This signals that you’re not just asking for the sake of it. You’re there for the deeper conversation, and that can give them the confidence to share their true feelings.
“Is there anything really good or not so good happening lately?"
Life is a mix of highs and lows. By inviting someone to share both the good and the bad, you let them know that it's okay to talk about whatever they're going through. Sometimes people feel they need permission to talk about the not so good stuff. This question is a gentle way to let them know you’re all ears, no matter what they want to share.
"Anything on your mind that you want to share?"
This question creates space for the person to bring up anything that’s been weighing on them, even if it's something small. Giving someone the opportunity to talk freely, without fear of judgment, shows that you’re a safe space for their thoughts and feelings.
"How can I support you?"
This is one of the most meaningful questions you can ask. It’s not just about listening, but also about being ready to offer help if needed - whether it’s practical advice, a coffee meet up, or just a listening ear. Sometimes, people don’t know what they need until someone offers support. This question encourages them to think about how you can help, which can make them feel less overwhelmed and more supported.
Why We Should Ask Today (and Every Day)
R U OK? Day is an annual reminder to check in, but the importance of these conversations extends well beyond today. Mental health is not a one day issue. Life’s challenges don’t follow a calendar, and someone who seems fine today may be struggling tomorrow. By making these check ins a regular habit, you show the people around you that you care about their wellbeing every day.
Personally, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, and I know how valuable it is to have someone simply ask, “are you ok?” I’ve been lucky enough to find an incredible therapist who I’ve been seeing at least once a month for over six years now. (You can read Rochelle's story here)
I make sure to go to the gym or have some kind of alone time through the day purely for my own mental wellbeing. It’s been such an important part of my own journey toward taking care of my mental health and being the best version of myself for others.
I believe that looking after your mental health is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and those around you. One of the ways I’ve learned to cope is by finding something in each day that makes me smile, no matter how small. It helps me focus on the good, even during tough times.
Talking about your mental health can be hard - trust me, I know. Letting your guard down feels uncomfortable at first. But I encourage you to talk, even when it’s difficult. You don’t have to be “strong” all the time. Asking for help, or simply talking about what you’re going through, isn’t a sign of weakness - it’s a sign of strength.
If Someone Comes to You
If a friend or loved one reaches out to you, remember that it’s ok to just listen. You don’t have to have all the answers, and sometimes people aren’t looking for advice. If you’re unsure, simply ask, “Would you like some advice, or would you prefer I just listen?”
Creating a safe space for someone to talk without judgment can make a world of difference.
Why Mental Health Matters
Mental health is as important as physical health. Just as you would check in on a friend who’s not feeling well physically, checking in on their mental wellbeing is equally important. Untreated mental health issues can affect every aspect of a person’s life, from their relationships and work to their physical health and overall happiness.
By asking a simple question, you’re helping to create a culture where it’s ok to talk about mental health. The more we normalise these conversations, the more we break down the stigma surrounding mental health issues.
Reach Out Today
If this has made you think of someone who might need a check in, don’t hesitate. Reach out to a friend or family member, and start the conversation. You never know how much that small act of kindness could mean to them.
And if you’re the one struggling, it’s ok to let someone know. You don’t have to go through it alone. There are people ready to support you, whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a professional.
If you are concerned for your safety or the safety of others, please seek immediate assistance by calling Triple Zero (000).
You can also seek support from these 24/7 services:
Lifeline: 13 11 14 – lifeline.org.au
Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 – beyondblue.org.au
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 – suicidecallbackservice.org.au
Let’s make every day a day to check in, listen, and show that we care.